


Senses

by AutisticWriter



Series: Femslash February [12]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Peridot (Steven Universe), Autistic Steven Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash February 2018, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hugs, Kissing, Mentions of Autistic Pearl and Connie, One Shot, Prompt Fill, Self-Discovery, Sensory Overload, Stim Toys, Stimming, Storms, fidget spinners - Freeform, shutdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-16 01:32:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13625736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: In which Steven helps Peridot realise that she is autistic, and Amethyst has to help her when a storm sends Peridot into a shutdown.[Prompt 9: Senses]





	Senses

Steven walks into his bedroom to find Peridot sat on his bed.

“Um, Peridot, what’re you doing?” he asks.

Peridot is sat with her legs crossed, admiring a green fidget spinner. Steven bought it last year, back when the craze was just starting. Her eyes are focused on the toy as it spins, seemingly content. At least until Steven speaks, at which point she jumps.

“Steven?!” she says, dropping the spinner in shock. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I’m in my bedroom,” Steven says, smiling. “Because it’s my bedroom and I want to get my pyjamas.”

Peridot looks at him, processing his words, and then smiles. “Yes, well, I suppose that makes sense. Should I move?”

“Nah, you can stay for now,” he says. He watches her pick up the fidget spinner and spin it again. “Do you like that?”

Peridot glances up at Steven, avoiding eye contact. Not that he minds, because he hates eye contact too. It makes his brain hurt.

“I don’t exactly know what this device is,” Peridot says, sounding like she’s making a report or something. “But it provides me sufficient sensory stimulation to make me feel calmer. I assume it must be a self-stimulatory behaviour device. Is that what it is called?”

“Yeah, sort of,” Steven says. “But we call them stim toys.”

“Stim toys,” Peridot repeats. When she repeats words she sounds like Steven when he does his echolalia thing. “Stim toys.”

“Yeah, and this is a fidget spinner. They’re really popular. They’re designed for autistic people but loads of people like to use them.”

Peridot stares at him. “Autistic?”

“You know, autistic?” Steven says, confused. “Like me. And my friend Connie. And Pearl. Although Pearl’s a gem so she’s not technically autistic, but she’s got the gem equivalent of autism so we just call it autism to make things easier. It’s a disability that means your brain works differently.”

“I… see,” Peridot says, but she sounds just as confused as Steven. “Would I be considered to be… autistic?”

“Um, yeah, I think so,” he says, thinking about his diagnosis and the traits Peridot shares with him and Pearl and how it would just make sense. “I think you might be autistic. Are you… all right with that?”

“You say that as though there is a stigma attached.”

Steven sighs. “That’s because there is.”

He doesn’t say any more, but Peridot seems to understand.

“Do you want to keep that?” he asks, pointing at the fidget spinner. “I’ve got loads of them.”

Peridot smiles slightly. “I would like that. Thank you, Steven.”

Steven grins back, glad to know that Peridot is beginning to understand how her gem works. “You’re welcome.”

He takes his pyjamas from under his pillow and walks down the stairs, heading to the bathroom to get changed. As he walks away, Steven hears Peridot talking into the tape recorder he gave her:

“I received a gift from Steven Universe. It is a device for self-stimulatory behaviour which the humans call a stim toy. It makes a pleasant whirring sound when spun and makes me feel relaxed. Steven also suggested that I may be autistic, a trait shared with him and the Pearl. I find this revelation confusing, but it may explain some of the things about my gem that I have never understood…”

\---

“Hey, ‘Dot,” Amethyst says, wandering over to where Peridot is sat in Amethyst’s room in the Temple.

Peridot finds mess distressing, so Amethyst cleared an area of her room where Peridot can sit and relax without feeling overwhelmed by all of her junk. She put a couch in that corner and often finds Peridot sitting there when she finishes her walk around her room for that day, checking her junk and sometimes adding more junk.

“How you doing today?”

Peridot smiles but doesn’t look up. She is playing with one of the fidget spinner things Steven owns (she was interested when she first saw them, but got put off when she realised they aren’t food), the green one, and seems completely fascinated by the way the toy whirrs at it spins around.

“All right, thank you,” she says.

Amethyst sits down beside Peridot. “Did Steven give that to you?”

“Yes, he did. He also suggested that I may be autistic. Do you agree with his suggestion?”

“To be honest, ‘Dot, yeah, I do,” Amethyst says. “I’ve seen your traits in Steven and Peal and Steven’s friend Connie and I think it makes a lot of sense.”

Peridot glances at her, a small smile crossing her face. “I think it makes sense too.”

Amethyst smiles. “That’s great. Can I put my arm around you?”

“If you want,” Peridot says. “Is the spinner annoying you?”

“Nope, it’s cool,” Amethyst says, putting her arm around Peridot’s shoulders.

Peridot smiles and leans against her. “I like spending time with you, Amethyst.”

She grins. “Thanks. Me too.”

\---

Like most humans when they sleep, Amethyst loves going to sleep, but she hates being awoken before she’s ready. And she’s woken up in the middle of the night by a noise that sounds like rocks hitting metal and Peridot freaking out.

“Wake up, Amethyst!” Peridot says, her voice shaking and urgent. She nudges Amethyst with her foot. “Wake up!”

Amethyst opens her eyes, blinking blearily. Peridot is pacing around her, her hands pressed against the sides of her head and that green stim toy gripped in her hand.

“Whasamatta?” Amethyst mumbles, yawning. “What’s that noise?”

“It’s the Cluster!” she cries. “Can’t you hear it?!”

Slowly, Amethyst sits up. She listens hard, but the noise just sounds like rocks hitting metal. Not like a huge Gem mutation ripping the Earth apart. “I don’t think that’s the Cluster, Peridot.”

But Peridot isn’t listening. Looking like she’s about to burst into tears, she groans and races out of Amethyst’s room. Sighing, Amethyst gets up and follows after Peridot. She knows the shortcuts so she catches up with her just as Peridot exits the Temple.

Peridot runs out into the house, where the noise intensifies. Steven is sat up in bed, staring out of the window with his hands clamped over his ears and a grin on his face. He doesn’t notice when Peridot and Amethyst skid into the room.

“What’s that noise?” Peridot moans, her hands over the sides of her head. “It’s got to be the Cluster!”

Amethyst looks out of the window and sees white things falling from the sky and smacking into the decking outside. It’s hitting the roof too, which must have been the noise she heard when she woke up. She’s only seen this phenomenon a couple of times, but she recognises what it is.

“Listen to me, Peridot,” she says, walking over to her girlfriend and putting her hands on her shoulders.

Peridot flinches backwards, seconds away from crying. She screws her face up, her hands digging into the sides of her head.

“It’s not the Cluster,” she says, having to raise her voice. “It’s not the Cluster, ‘Dot.”

Peridot sinks to the floor, tucking her knees up to her chest in a pose reminiscent of her time when she trapped herself in the bathroom. She looks so vulnerable, so scared.

“It’s hailing,” Amethyst says. She kneels down beside Peridot, and points to the window, where the hail is visibly falling. “It’s just the weather. Its lumps of icy stuff falling from the sky. It’s the weather, not the Cluster. I promise.”

Peridot starts rocking backwards and forwards. She looks just like Steven when he has the things he calls shutdowns.

“’Dot?” she says.

But Peridot doesn’t respond.

Wanting to help but not knowing how, Amethyst looks up at Steven’s room. And she realises she has an expert right there to help.

“Be right back, ‘Dot,” she says, even though Peridot might not be able to hear her.

With some reluctance, Amethyst leaves Peridot’s side and rushes up the stairs and into Steven’s room. Steven is sat on top of his blankets, and now has a pair of ear defenders over his head. His sleepy eyes are wide as he watches the hail fall, covering the ground outside until it looks like it’s been snowing.

“Steven?” she says, not wanting to make the boy jump. She normally doesn’t care about making him jump, but whenever he has the ear defenders on, he’s overwhelmed. And she doesn’t want him to end up like poor Peridot.

Luckily, Steven hears her. He turns his head and says, “Amethyst? What’re you doing here?”

“There’s something wrong with Peridot,” she says, gesturing to where Peridot is rocking in a ball on the floor downstairs. “She thought the sound of the hail was the Cluster, but even after I told her it’s just the weird Earth weather, she can’t calm down. She isn’t even responding to me anymore.” She sighs. “I’m worried about her.”

Steven smiles, patting her arm. “It’s because you love her. It’s normal to worry about people you love.”

Amethyst’s cheeks blush deep purple; being reminded that everyone else knows about her relationship with Peridot sometimes embarrasses her.

“But I think I can help,” he continues. Steven stands up, allowing himself to get a better look at Peridot. “Yep, it looks like she’s having a shutdown.”

So she was right. She just wishes she could help. This reminds her of the first time she ever saw Pearl have a meltdown thousands of years ago, and it really freaked her out when she felt so… helpless. That’s the word to describe her feeling: helpless.

She sighs. “How do I help her, Steven?”

“Well, when I have a sensory overload, it always helps me to get out of the situation, to go somewhere quiet. So why don’t we take her to Mom’s room?”

“Rose’s room?” Amethyst says. “Of course. We can create anything we want in there. There must be something to help ‘Dot calm down.”

Steven smiles. “Exactly. Let’s go!”

As Steven heads to the Temple door and tries to activate Rose’s room with his gem, Amethyst returns to Peridot. Peridot still looks so scared and weak, and she doesn’t want to hurt her.

“Um, Peridot, can you hear me?” she says, keeping her voice soft. “I’m going to take you into Rose’s room. I’m gonna pick you up now. Is that all right with you?”

Peridot barely moves, but Amethyst sees her head flick into the smallest nod. With Peridot’s permission, she carefully picks up her girlfriend and walks over to the Temple door. Steven has succeeded in opening Rose’s door, so she follows the boy through the door into the amazingly pink world of Rose’s room.

The door shuts behind them.

“Room, block out all noise from outside,” Steven says.

The room must obey, because it is suddenly silent. Steven removes his ear defenders with a satisfied smile. Peridot doesn’t speak or even make a sound, but her hands relax slightly from their vice-like grip on her head.

“There we are,” he says. “Now, are there any things Peridot really likes that might make her calmer?”

Amethyst only has to think for a second before she works it out. “I need the couch from my room, the one Peridot sits on all the time she’s in there.”

Steven nods. “Room, we want the couch from Amethyst’s room that Peridot always uses.”

And, with a pop, a replica of that exact couch appears before them. Amethyst grins. “Wicked! Thanks, Steven.”

“No problemo,” Steven says with a silly smile.

Carefully, she lies Peridot down on the couch. Peridot curls up in the foetal position on her side, her arms wrapped around her chest and her fidget spinner still gripped in her hand.

As Amethyst sits down beside Peridot, Steven says, “Room, can I have two blankets? A blue one and a green one.”

The blankets appear before him and he wraps the blue one around his shoulders. He takes the other one and approaches Peridot.

“Would you like a blanket, Peridot?” he says. “It’s green, your favourite colour. Nod if you do.”

Without making a sound, Peridot nods her head.

“Here you are,” Steven says, laying the blanket over Peridot. “I hope you feel better soon.”

“How’s she doing?” Amethyst asks, whispering.

Steven smiles. “Now she’s in a quiet, safe place, I think she’ll get better soon.”

Amethyst smiles and ruffles Steven’s curly hair. “Thanks, little guy.”

Steven doesn’t leave the room, clearly still worried about Peridot, but he moves a distance away and gets the room to make him a bed just like his one and to show him the picture of the hail raining outside. And he lies down in bed and curls up under the blanket, watching the silent image of the hailstorm.

Still sat next to Peridot, Amethyst sighs. She hates seeing poor Peridot like this.

“I hope you feel better soon, ‘Dot,” she whispers.

Eventually, Amethyst falls asleep sitting up on the couch in Rose’s room, and her dreams focus on hail storms and Peridot and the Cluster in the centre of the Earth.

\---

When Peridot awakes, it takes her a few seconds to even realise that she was asleep. She never sleeps, so that was a weird experience. But despite having just awoken, she is incredibly tired.

Her memories of her time before she slept start to return, although they feel foggy. She remembers loud noise and panic and the Cluster and Amethyst waking up and running around nearly crying and hail storms and just… shutting down. Her body completely shut down on her, her gem overloading for some reason. She thinks something like this has happened before, but it must have been hundreds of years ago. Is this why she feels so weak?

She opens her eyes, and finds herself in a pink room. Amethyst is sat beside her, fast asleep. Quite far away, she sees Steven lying in a bed with the image of that weird hail storm playing but without the sound. Just where is she?

She doesn’t want to wake either of them up, but she can’t see the way out. Peridot woke Amethyst up last night, so she decides to disturb Steven instead. She walks over to Steven and whispers his name.

“Steven? Can you wake up?”

Steven stirs and opens his eyes. He does the yawning thing humans do and mumbles, “Peridot? You’re better.”

“Better from what?”

Steven sits up, yawning again. “Better from the shutdown you had last night?”

“Shutdown? Is that the name for my gem malfunction?”

“It’s not really a malfunction, but it’s what your gem and my brain do when we get overwhelmed by something and can’t cope anymore. Last night, you got so scared by the loud noise and the thought of the Cluster and it made you shut down.” Steven rubs at his eyes and stands up. “But it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s normal for us.”

Peridot sighs, but forces herself to smile. “Thank you, Steven. So, where are we?”

“My Mom’s room in the Temple,” he says. “It can create stuff for you out of clouds. I got it to make the bed and that couch and the blankets. We came in here so you could get away from the noise and calm down.”

“I… see,” Peridot says. “It is a pleasant, if strange, experience in here, but I would like to leave this Rose Quartz room.”

“No problem,” Steven says. “Room, can I please have the real exit from this room?”

On command, a door appears. It slides open, showing Steven’s house outside.

“Thank you,” Peridot says.

“What are friends for?” Steven says, grinning.

She frowns, confused. “I don’t understand. Is that a rhetorical question?”

Steven giggles. “No, I just mean, that’s what it means to be friends. To look after each other.”

“Well, thank you, Steven,” Peridot says, and she exits the strange room in the equally strange Temple.

\---

As Amethyst gets herself a snack in the kitchen, Peridot wanders into the room. She comes right over, watching Amethyst open packets of snacks.

“Hello, Amethyst,” she says. “Can I hug you?”

“Yeah, course you can,” Amethyst says, smiling.

Smiling back, Peridot wraps her arms around Amethyst and hugs her.

“Are you feeling better today?”

“A lot, thanks to you,” Peridot says. “And Steven, of course. Thank you, Amethyst. I am so grateful for the affection you show to me.”

Amethyst grins. “No problem, ‘Dot. I’m just glad you’re feeling better. Can I kiss you?”

Peridot nods. Amethyst plants a kiss on Peridot’s cheek. Peridot smiles.

“I love you, ‘Dot,” she says, kissing her again.

And after first checking that none of the others are around (she gets embarrassed being affectionate in public), Peridot whispers, “I love you too.”


End file.
